NOTICE TO READER: The answer to each question below is a brief summary for informational purposes only and is only applicable in the Province of Ontario. It is not meant to be legal advice. If you require information or advice as it relates to your individual circumstances you are advised to consult with your own lawyer or retain the legal services of Steven Benmor.
Divorce
When can I ask for a divorce?
As soon as one of the following three circumstances has occurred: the other spouse has committed adultery, the other spouse has committed cruelty, or the spouses have separated. As soon as one of these circumstances has occurred, a spouse can commence an application for divorce. If separation is used as the ground to obtain a divorce, the spouses need to have been separated for at least one year before a judge will grant a divorce judgment.
What is an uncontested divorce?
When the spouses have signed a separation agreement that has resolved all issues such as custody, access, support and property division, and they now both want to be divorced, then one of the spouses can commence a petition for divorce that consists of a request for a divorce only. One spouse has it served on the other spouse. If the other spouse agrees to a divorce, then he or she may choose not to contest the petition for divorce. That is why it is called an uncontested divorce.
How long does it take to get a divorce?
An uncontested divorce usually takes between eight to 16 weeks. A petition for divorce that is contested usually takes much longer. There are many factors that affect the length of time it takes to get divorced. Unless the reason for the divorce is adultery or cruelty, the spouses must have lived separate and apart for at least one year.
Can I sue my husband for emotional distress?
In Canada, the Divorce Act permits a spouse to seek a divorce if the other spouse has committed cruelty. But this does not entitle the victim to collect compensation for emotional distress. In fact, Canadian law seems to minimize the relevance of spousal misconduct when determining the issues of custody, access, support and division of property. However, a Wyoming Supreme Court decided that extreme and outrageous conduct by one spouse that results in severe emotional distress to the other spouse can create a cause of action for intentional infliction of emotional distress and entitle the victim to collect compensation for her suffering. In the decision of McCulloh v. Drake (Wyoming, 24 P. 3d. 1162 (2001)), the court heard that shortly after the husband and wife were married, the husband began to physically and sexually abuse the wife. The trial court found that the wife had proven the abuse and the emotional distress that she suffered. The husband appealed this decision by arguing that intentional infliction of emotional distress within a marriage is not a tort (a legal wrong.) In an effort to preserve domestic harmony, courts have tried to remain indifferent when it comes to regulating behaviour within a marriage. However, courts have recently begun to distinguish claims for civil relief in marriage cases by pronouncing that a tort claim may provide a better remedy for spouses than a divorce claim. The court concluded that "emotional distress is as real and tormenting as physical pain, and psychological well-being deserves as much legal protection as physical well-being." In preserving marital harmony as their main goal, the court held that "behaviour that is truly outrageous and results in severe emotional distress should not be protected in a misguided attempt to promote marital harmony." It remains to be seen if Canadian courts will follow this reasoning.
Can you get a divorce if your husband has an affair with another man?
Historically, the answer to this question was “No.” Canadian federal law only permitted a spouse to obtain a divorce if the other spouse had an extramarital affair with someone of the opposite sex.
Indeed, Canada’s Divorce Act states that a “breakdown of a marriage is established only if the spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year or the spouse against whom the divorce proceeding is brought has committed adultery or treated the other spouse with physical or mental cruelty.”
Adultery has historically been defined by the courts as voluntary sex between a spouse and someone of the opposite sex, outside of the marriage.
But this week, a Vancouver woman was granted a divorce after Justice Nicole Garson decided the woman’s husband had committed adultery by having an affair with another man.
It is expected that this decision may have a significant impact on same-sex partners who are likely to engage in extramarital affairs with persons of the same gender.
The court’s written decision is expected to be published in two weeks.
Can you get a divorce if your wife commits adultery with another woman?
This just happened in Saint John, New Brunswick.
Fourty-nine year old Pascal Thebeau was been granted a divorce on the grounds that his wife committed same-sex adultery in a precedent-setting case. Although same-sex marriage has been legislated in New Brunswick, as well as in Ontario, same-sex adultery has not been included in the language of the law.
Canadian federal law only permits a spouse to obtain a divorce if the other spouse committed adultery with someone of the opposite sex. Canada’s Divorce Act provides that a “breakdown of a marriage is established only if the spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year or the spouse against whom the divorce proceeding is brought has committed adultery or treated the other spouse with physical or mental cruelty.” Adultery has historically been defined by the courts as voluntary sex between a spouse and someone of the opposite sex, outside of the marriage.
Previously, a Vancouver woman was granted a divorce after the judge decided that the woman’s husband had committed adultery by having an affair with another man. Now there is a precedent for same-sex adultery being committed by a wife. Until the legislation is amended, same-sex adultery cases will be decided on a case by case basis.
Do divorce lawyers help spouses reconcile?
Interestingly, divorce lawyers are required, by law, to discuss with the client the possibility of reconciliation and the availability of marriage counseling. In fact, in every application for a divorce, the lawyer acting on behalf of the client must certify that he has complied with this requirement. Then the divorce judge is required to satisfy herself that there is no possibility of reconciliation of the spouses and, if at any stage in a divorce proceeding, it appears to the judge from the evidence or the attitude of either or both spouses that there is a possibility of the reconciliation of the spouses, the judge is then required to adjourn the proceeding to afford the spouses an opportunity to achieve a reconciliation. The judge may even appoint a marriage counselor to assist the spouses to achieve a reconciliation.
But does this actually happen?
» In the vast majority of cases, once the client makes an appointment with a divorce lawyer, the decision to separate has been made and is not typically open to change. But what if the lawyer insisted on having a discussion about reconciliation ? What if the lawyer caused the client to reflect?
The exercise of reflection seems to me to have certain prerequisites or ingredients. For the client to reflect, the lawyer must guide the process of reflection. That means that the lawyer is now expected to be reflective of his role at this critical stage. When approached by a client who is asking for a divorce, the reflective lawyer must be prepared to stop, listen and think before arriving at a viewpoint, opinion or advice.
To some extent, this is counter-intuitive. The client seeks counsel. Specifically, she or he seeks guidance, direction and advice. The client does not seek - or wish to pay for - reflection. However, reflection is probably the very best service that the lawyer can give the client.
This mode of response should permit the lawyer to better examine the totality of the circumstances of the family, the factors influencing the conflict, the client's individual challenges, the stated problem, the essence of the problem (which may or may not be uncovered) and the various options that can improve the lives of this client, family and, especially, the children.
It can be argued that lawyers typically perpetuate the problem through a failure to reflect by operating within the (legal) system that places great emphasis on tradition, convention and precedent. This is undisputable. Proponents of change are seen as contrarian, ill-informed or even cavalier.
Maybe if we lawyers worked harder (or were better trained) to elicit the client's interests, we could not only achieve satisfying solutions for the client, but improve the conditions for the entire family and even (in a modest way) cause the population of separating spouses to reconsider and reverse the decision to separate. If, in the end, divorce is inevitable, then at least the family will experience separation and divorce in a less conflictual and more peaceful manner.
Why do people divorce?
In Canada, section 8 of the Divorce Act states:
A court of competent jurisdiction may, on application by either or both spouses, grant a divorce to the spouse or spouses on the ground that there has been a ‘breakdown of their marriage’ and then defines this to mean either a one year separation, adultery or cruelty.
But in Guatemala, a novel reason for divorcing has arisen.
The first lady, 51 year old Sandra Torres de Colom, confirmed on March 30, 2011 that she will divorce her husband of 8 years, the Guatemalan president.
When asked why, the first lady stated:
“I am getting a divorce from my husband, but I am getting married to the people…I am not going to be the first or the last woman who decides to get a divorce, but I am the only woman to get a divorce for her country.”
Guatemalan law prohibits its president’s relatives from becoming a subsequent president. Torres de Colom is seeking to divorce her husband to circumvent that law that prevents her from seeking the presidency.
Is this a twist on ‘irreconcilable differences’?
A new cause of divorce: commuting long distances to work ?
The Department of Social and Economic Geography of Umeå University in Sweden recently published a research paper called “On the road: Social aspects of commuting long distances to work” by Erika Sandow as part of her doctoral dissertation. Ms. Sandow holds a Masters degree in Public Administration and Environmental Studies with a major in Social and Economic Geography.
The paper states that commuting long-distances to work has caused more spouses to separate and divorce. In Sweden, approximately 11% of the Swedish workforce is long-distance commuters. The paper explains that the social costs of lengthy commuting include unfinished household responsibilities, lack of time to socialize with family and friends and reduced leisure activities. Moreover, a long commute may cause stress and health problems. Spouses are then forced to manage these social consequences.
Ms. Sandow used a longitudinal data set to measure the risk of divorcing or separating. Long-distance commuting was defined as 30 kilometres or longer each way. In total, 2.1 million spouses were analysed over a ten-year period from 1995 to 2005. The results demonstrated a clear correlation between long-distance commuting and family breakdown. Annual separation rates were higher among commuting couples than non-commuting couples.
The results indicate that couples who live a more modern lifestyle and have abandoned the more traditional gender roles are more capable of handling the social consequences of long-distance commuting and have successfully balanced work and family life.
So it would seem that commuting to work is bad for our environment, bad for our health and now bad for our marriage.
Other Questions Answered
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